


The Last 'Sorry, Tsukki'

by Tynytyg



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, I killed Tadashi oops, I'm Sorry, actually im not but, he's kind of a ghost, this isn't actually tsukkiyama but it could be if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6573601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tynytyg/pseuds/Tynytyg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukki isn't really right without Yamaguchi around<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Last 'Sorry, Tsukki'

Tsukishima stood in his front hallway, tying his shoes to go to school as if nothing had changed. He straightened, reaching for his jacket, when he felt a tug on the laces, tightening them for him. He froze, eyes locking onto the door in front of him, the rest of his face unmoving. "Yamaguchi?" He breathed, just daring to hope.  
"Yes Tsukki, it's me." Tadashi responded, standing up from fixing his friend's shoelaces. He knew Tsukki couldn't hear him, but it was a habit to respond anyway.  
Tsukishima put his hand out in front of him, expression unchanged, and Tadashi took it in both of his own. Tsukki flinched visibly as Tadashi's hands passed completely through his. Then he pressed his eyes and lips into thin lines, hands shaking as he lowered the extended one to his side. "You're not really hear. You can't be." He said, trying to keep all the hope and terror out of his voice.  
"I know you can't hear me, Tsukki, but I'm right here."  
"Shut up Yamaguchi."  
"Sorry, Tsukki." Tadashi said sadly, and moved out of the way.  
He knew it wouldn't do either of them any good, but he followed Tsukki to practice, walked beside him like always. This time, he could tell Tsukki had his music on, blasting loud enough in his headphones to be audible to anyone walking close to him. He usually turned it off to listen to Tadashi, even though he pretended not to care.  
Practice was strange, not being able to participate. Tadashi had almost tried to change out of habit in the club room, and had been reminded when his hands went through the door of his locker that he wasn't able to do that anymore. Watching all of his friends try to act normal around one another was an obscure sort of painful, as everyone danced around the elephant in the room. They were all painfully nice to Tsukki, too. Tadashi wished they'd done it before. Now it was weird.  
The whole team was subdued. Tanaka had yet to take off his shirt, Nishinoya hadn't yelled 'rolling thunder' even once, and Tadashi wasn't sure if he was imagining it, but it looked like Kageyama's sets weren't as perfect as usual, and Hinata's jumps weren't as high. Coach Ukai was notably absent. Takeda-sensei was watching them all with teary eyes.  
At the end of practice, Daichi clapped his hands and assembled everybody. Tadashi joined them more out of habit than anything else.  
"Good practice, everyone," Daichi began, even though they all knew it hadn't been. "I know it's hard to get back into the swing of things after..." He paused, then shook his head and continued on. "It's hard. But the spring tournament is just around the corner, and we've got to do our best, for his sake as well as our own."  
Tsukki stood up abruptly at that and stalked out, ignoring Sugawara's voice calling after him. Tadashi chased him. He'd always chase him. "Tsukki, Tsukki wait, he was right, I want you all to do your be-"  
"Shut /up/, Yamaguchi." Tsukki gritted out through clenched teeth. He'd come to a stop behind the gym, where few students ever came. He leaned heavily against the wall, then slumped to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest and burying his face in his hands.  
"Sorry, Tsukki..." Tadashi replied very softly, and tried to put a comforting hand on Tsukki's shoulder.  
He didn't cry. Crying was pathetic, according to Tsukki, unless it was Yamaguchi crying. So he didn't cry, just sat there and shook for a few minutes, trying not to think about his last practice with his best friend. Trying not to think about his first one without. Then he stood up, found a bathroom to rinse his face, changed in the club room, and went to class.  
He almost had to turn around and leave again at the sight of Tadashi's empty desk. The class stopped their low murmuring when he walked in alone. He sneered at them, a bored expression he'd perfected years ago. Unaffected, condescending, superior, and bored. It made everyone turn away from him and back to their muted conversations.  
"Where's Yamaguchi?"  
"What happened?"  
"Did he finally give up on that jerk?"  
"He deserves better anyway."  
Tadashi hoped Tsukki would close his ears. Sitting on his own desk, because he couldn't pull out the chair, listening to his classmates, he hoped his best friend would ignore them. Tsukki wouldn't yell at them, even if he wanted to. He'd just sit there and internalize everything they were saying, and Tadashi really didn't want that for him. But there wasn't anything he could do about it anymore.  
"No, I heard something happened to him."  
"Woah, really?"  
"Like what?"  
"I heard he was really sick."  
"I heard there was an accident."  
"I heard he di-"  
The teacher walked in, stopping the muttering. 

 

The school day dragged on in that strange haze of everyone trying to be nice while whispering behind their hands. It might've been Tadashi's imagination, but he thought there was less laughter in the halls, fewer people yelling and shoving and generally horsing around.  
He hoped it wouldn't last long.  
Afternoon practice was the same as the morning had been, weird and unwelcomely quiet. Tsukki left halfway through. No one tried to stop him, though several sympathetic glances were sent his way, which only made him grind his teeth and walk faster. Tadashi touched his arm to comfort him on the walk home, and he shivered. Then he looked right at Tadashi and froze. "Yamaguchi."  
"Yes Tsukki, it's me." An odd repeat of the morning, but this time..  
"Are you..."  
"I'm right here." Tadashi tried his best to keep his voice gentle, and not let the excitement at being seen slip out.  
"You're..." Tsukki put a hand out again, and touched Tadashi's shoulder. His hand didn't pass through, and he almost smiled, face relaxing in wonder. Tadashi could've sobbed with relief.  
"Yes, I'm still here. You can see me? Can you hear me too?" He asked, and knew his voice sounded strained and too excited.  
"I can hear you- why are you still here?" Tsukki demanded, eyebrows drawing back together.  
"I... don't know. This is what happened when I-"  
"Tsukishima?" A very puzzled voice asked.  
Tsukki turned. Standing a yard or so away was Kageyama, looking as confused as the last time Hinata had tried to communicate his enthusiasm about something to him. "What." He regarded Kageyama with his usual lack of interest.  
"Who are you talking to?"  
"Y-" Tsukki almost said his name, about to mock Kageyama for not seeing someone in plain sight, before he realized that Tadashi wasn't in plain sight. "Nobody."  
Kageyama stared, as if trying to figure out something beyond his capacity, for another moment. Then he shrugged and kept walking. Tsukki cursed quietly for forgetting that Kageyama lived in the same direction as he did, and that Hinata had some sort of test to make up, canceling the oddball duo's usual after school practice. They'd announced it loudly enough, yelling at each other during morning practice.  
Tsukki turned back to Tadashi, who was to his surprise, still there. After a few moments of looking at him, Tsukki started to head home. "Come on Yamaguchi."  
Tadashi smiled and jogged a couple of steps to catch up with him. On the way home, they talked about nothing important. Well, Tadashi talked, and Tsukki nodded along, face forward. pretending not to care like always.  
At least this could stay the same.  
When Tsukki got home, he toed off his shoes and called his usual, quiet "I'm home," into the house.  
Tadashi joined him, adding "Sorry for the intrusion!"  
Akiteru skidded around the corner, and half ran to envelop his younger brother in a hug. Tadashi remembered those hugs, they were always really comforting. "I came over as soon as I heard. I'm really sorry, Kei."  
Tsukki didn't really react, except to give a robotic seeming, half-hearted return hug. "Yeah."  
"Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine."  
"No you aren't." Akiteru almost scolded, holding Tsukki away from him just enough to look him in the face. Kei's eyes slid over, away from his brother. "I want you to tell me if there's anything I can do. I know you're not the best at asking for help, but it's really important, alright?"  
Tsukki didn't say anything, so Tadashi jabbed his shoulder lightly. "Say something, he'll worry."  
Tsukki sighed a bit, glancing at Tadashi before looking back at Akiteru. "Fine."  
"Good." Akiteru hugged him again, then let him go. "I'm going to go help Mom with dinner, okay?"  
"Fine." Tsukki repeated, then headed towards his room. He didn't see the worried glance Akiteru followed him with, but Tadashi did, and smiled. Tsukki's family loved him so much. It was nice to know there was someone besides himself who recognized how great his best friend was.  
He followed Tsukki, like he always had. 

\--

A few months later, almost everything had returned to normal. Kei went to practice, to class, and home again. He didn't really understand why everybody was so worried about him. Yamaguchi was still right beside him, even if they couldn't see him.  
Kei was fine, because to him, Yamaguchi wasn't gone. The people around him slowly went back to normal, though he occasionally got weird looks for talking to Yamaguchi when other people were within earshot.  
The team seemed like it would be okay, even though they were on shaky ground for a few weeks. Not that Kei cared. The team could fall apart; it would be appropriate for what they'd lost. It looked like if a few key members kept from collapsing, the team would stay almost the same. It seemed wrong, for some reason.  
Kageyama got his crazy accuracy back in a few days and, Kei privately suspected, a few late nights at the guy. Not that he speculated. Hinata was back to his exhaustingly energetic self, and Kei had to find another way to direct insults at the pair of them that didn't involve talking to Yamaguchi. Nishinoya returned to yelling with Tanaka every time anything good happened. Coach Ukai came back to practices, and Takeda-sensei stopped crying. Even Asahi didn't half freak out when serving anymore. It was going to be okay.  
The only problem was that everyone kept trying to console Kei over losing Yamaguchi.  
Akiteru had been worried when Yamaguchi had made Kei tell him that he could still see his friend, and had tried to gently tell Kei that ghosts weren't real. Yamaguchi had tried to make Akiteru feel cold or hear him too, but it hadn't worked, so they were back to trying to convince him some other way.  
He seemed bent on convincing Kei that Tadashi wasn't real, couldn't be here. And then one day, he succeeded.  
Yamaguchi walked in Kei's open bedroom door to find Akiteru sitting with him on his bed. Tsukki visibly stiffened when Tadashi walked in, and Akiteru put a hand on his shoulder. "Kei, he's not really there. It's okay. You're not the one making him go away."  
Tsukki was shaking a bit, and that worried Yamaguchi. "Tsukki?" He asked, voice unsure.  
"You're... not real." Kei tried hesitantly.  
"Yes I am, Tsukki. You can see me, remember?" Tadashi was really worried, walking a bit closer.  
"You're not. My mind is playing tricks on me." Kei said, voice stronger now, more sure.  
It cut Tadashi's hope that his friend would let him stay right out from under him, and he felt tears begin to well up in his eyes. "Tsukki, I'm here with you!" He protested  
"No." Kei stood up from the bed, shaking his head and not making eye contact with Tadashi.  
"I'm still here and I want to stay@" Yamaguchi tried walking towars him, the tears now running down his face.  
"No, you're not here, y-you're-" and now Kei was crying too. Yamaguchi wanted to reach up and brush the tears away, to comfort his friend. Kei pushed his hands back. "You're dead."  
"No! I'm not, I'm still here with you and I can't be gone because-  
"Shut up Yamaguchi." Kei said, voice thick, but his eyes were cold, and he pushed past Tadashi to leave the room, squeezing his eyes shut and moving too fast to seem unaffected.  
Tadashi watched him leave, tears streaking his face, and whispered, for what was probably the last time, "Sorry, Tsukki."  
Then he faded from the room. 

Akiteru sat on his younger brother's bed, head in his hands, elbows propped on his knees, wondering what to do. If Kei had been hallucinating Tadashi's ghost, had this helped at all? Maybe he should call a grief counselor. He sighed, stood, and followed Kei.


End file.
